You’re standing at a crossroads. One path leads towards a goal you set months ago–the one you were determined to accomplish. The other? It's uncharted, unfamiliar, but oddly exciting. Which do you choose?
I used to believe that once I set a goal, I had to see it through no matter what. Quitting or changing direction felt like a failure. But as life continued to introduce me to new passions and present unexpected disruptions, I began to realize these hard fast goals I was sticking to were not evolving with me– they in fact were holding me back.
Instead of pushing forward when a goal no longer sparked joy I began to give myself permission to re-align. Sometimes this meant changing the goal completely while other times it was a simple invitation to refocus or celebrate the accomplished “win’s” thus far.
Here are a few strategies to help recognize when it might be time to let go of a particular goal.
Resistance versus Discomfort:
Discomfort is temporary: it creates resilience and a level of grit. Discomfort is often where you can push through plateaus and get to the next level both mentally and physically. Resistance is draining or uninspiring. It is usually met with deep hesitation or dread to take action. It can feel like you are forcing yourself to find the energy. Distinguishing between these two and identifying where your goal fits is a great place to start.
Ask yourself questions along the way and notice if your answers don’t align.
- Does this goal still excite you?
- Notice if you use a lot of “shoulds” to explain your goal. For example, saying “I should go out for my long training run today” versus “I want to” or “I get to”. The first one implies obligation, while the other stems from genuine desire.
- Is this goal still adding value to your life? What was once important to you might no longer serve you. A classic example is chasing body composition goals– maybe you set a target bodyweight and then realized it was compromising your performance and energy levels, making the number on the scale less relevant. Or when tracking macros– its intent was to build discipline and awareness of eating habits, but instead increased stress and rigidity on food choices.
If you cycle through these questions and notice that your goal doesn’t align with your priorities– it’s time to make a change. Instead of adding shame to the shift, tell yourself things like “I have learned more about myself and this is how I am adjusting”.
YOU get to define success and what that means for you. Stop focusing on the rigid benchmarks and begin to look at what you have learned along the way. I guarantee there are some small wins to celebrate! For example, training for a marathon takes a huge level of discipline, and time management. If you can’t see even those small ways you prioritized or stay motivated I will tell you now– no goal will fill your cup! You will continue to chase for that finish line, never feeling accomplished, so make sure to pat yourself on the back and say HELL YA ME!
And when setting a new goal make sure to create various check-in dates for yourself. Points in the process you can look at progress, such as assessing the biofeedback in your nutrition or training plan (energy, performance, rate or recovery, sleep) which can help build out the remaining effort needed to accomplish the end goal.
Don't get me wrong, I believe goals are important to make. They can create motivation and drive as well as healthy amounts of discomfort. Make the goals, hold yourself accountable. I just think THE BEST GOALS ARE THE ONES THAT EVOLVE ALONGSIDE YOU.
If you are open to change you will stay engaged and present in your journey so give yourself permission to change without guilt.
